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Where soulcare meets healthcare

 

The truth about ourselves and the limitations of modern medicine.

The forms we are provided with to express our care goals are not working. They didn't work for my mom and they're not working today. This is not another form. It is a tool you use to create instructions that will insure you  have what you want, not what others might want for you.
 

 

"I learned by watching my parents die that my health is my responsibility. The choices I make are deeply personal and I've given a lot of thought to how I want the end of my life to play out. While physicians help us focus on our physical well-being, we have to be in charge of our overall well-being. I hope that this book will help you do just that."

Hattie

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I'll Have It My Way

Since the first emergency 911 telephone call was placed on Friday, February 16, 1968 the natural act of dying has, year-by-year, shifted from being an understood and predictable process managed by a family doctor with support from family and friends into a high-tech, high-speed, multi-machine, multi-doctor impersonal series of events that might not let us die for years and leaves us vulnerable and often voiceless. My mom barely escaped a protracted experience and she is the reason I have written this book. 

 

I'll Have It My Way is a tool for patients and their families to minimize, if not avoid entirely the pain, suffering, confusion and disagreements that can arise when their end-of-life healthcare wishes are not clearly spelled out and known in advance. The book makes it clear that no one is required to passively delegate death to a system that insists upon surgery, stents, chemotherapy, blood transfusions, radiation, infusions and all of the tubes, bags and  lines which accompany these interventions. Practical, informative and written in laypersons terms, I'll Have it My Way is a how-to book made personal as you answers questions that will help you to select a proxy and to provide your friends and family with a few simple instructions and wishes. Every person who wants to direct their own health care all the way to the end will benefit from this book.

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Advance Directives, even those prepared by attorneys, are often never seen or are ignored by physicians.
 

Table of Contents

Mom’s Story

Modern Medicine

Chapter 1: Everyone Dies

Chapter 2: Medicine Has Its Limits

Chapter 3: A Gentle Path

Chapter 4: Create Your Circle of Care

Homework

Chapter 5: Live Fully All the Way to the End    

Resources

Cliff Notes for Leaving Gently

Your Legacy

Hattie's Healthcare Directive

Sample POLST

 

Glossary

 

Endnotes

 

Acknowledgements 

 

Take a video tour of the book as author Hattie Bryant shares key insights from I'll Have It My Way.

Watch videos by clicking on a title.

1.    It's Your Job


​2.   Prepare Beyond a Living Will  

​3.   Your Total Well-Being 


​4.   Deal With Denial 


​5.   Medicine is Too Small 


6.   Ask for Comfort Care 


7.   Seek the Truth 


8.   Choose a Proxy Now 


9.   Everybody Needs a Hattie

10. Dance All the Way Out 


11. Four Steps to Peace 

 

Watch Hattie on HLN 

I'll Have It My Way on PBS

"Hattie's lively and instructive presentation, rich with real-life examples, will guide you and encourage you to begin the most important life work you will ever do--taking personal responsibility for making the decisions that only you can make if you wish to live freely and peacefully all the way to the end."

Alan Foster, Executive Producer

 

Watch Clips from the Lecture

Doctors Don’t Make Decisions, You Do

Hard to Get a Peaceful Death  

Medicine is Too Small  

We Have to Ask for a Peaceful Death 

Dying is Medicalized   

We Are Our Own Enemy 

We Have Choices   

 
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Physicians don't make end-of-life healthcare decisions, you do.

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